The first lemon

When the Batsman's twin died eleven weeks into the pregnancy I felt such a mixture of emotions. I was so sad to lose a precious baby but so happy that the Batsman battled on in-utero and appeared likely to make it into the world. Part of me wanted to curl up in a ball and just weep for an eternity, yet I also knew that I needed to nurture the babe within and take care of myself. It was confusing. It was bittersweet.

Both the Captain and I wanted to plant a tree to commemorate that time. We went to a beautiful plant nursery and wandered until we found the right one. We chose a gorgeous (but little) lemon tree to live in a big blue ceramic pot on our back deck. The lemon tree is still with us but has taken quite a bit of time to "find its feet".

And here it is...our very first lemon on our angel's lemon tree.

We will always love and remember you little one.

A little more like myself

I have looked in the mirror a few times over the last 3 months and felt like I could barely recognise myself. There have been dark circles under my eyes, blemishes on my face and I have just looked tired and pale and well, exhausted. It makes perfect sense because life has been so crazy and stressful and busy that yes, I have been utterly physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted every single day. That awful feeling of waking up tired and having no idea how you will get to the other end of a 12+ hour day with two small children.


This week I have...

• shared a long, comfortable conversation and a gorgeous wood fired pizza evening out with my gorgeous cousin.
• sipped a cosmopolitan and giggled along with the (albeit crass) Sex and the City 2 film at a fundraiser for the Batsman's kindergarten
• baked a flourless orange cake and some chocolate chip cookies
• had breakfast in a favourite cafe and read the newspaper in complete peace.

Sounds luxurious doesn't it. It was lovely and happened because the Captain stepped up (as he so often does) to look after the boys so I could have a break.


And I am very pleased to say that as this long weekend draws to a close, I am feeling just a little more like myself.