One week from now I will have packed my bags. I don’t think it has hit me yet. That I am going to Aussie Bloggers Conference.
In Sydney. Next week.
Today it became a lot more real when my “business” cards arrived by post. They look gorgeous (if I do say so myself).
I’ve got myself some clothes to wear (notwithstanding an inevitable last minute shopping frenzy).
The Captain is looking forward to his “daddy time” weekend with the boys and my mum has been marshalled to help with the Saturday morning swimming lesson expedition. So they’re all sorted.
The thing that’s probably not sorted is me. My thoughts about going to the conference are a big, messy jumble. So I reckon the best thing is to put them here, to purge them from swimming around up there, to let them roam around in bloggy land.
So here goes.
It seemed like a good idea when I bought my tickets but now I’m nervous. I’m nervous about “belonging”, nervous about so many new people in one hit, nervous about making new friends.
It’s really hard to leave my kids. It will be really good for me to have a break but my heart hurts when I am not with them.
Travelling really raises my level of anxiety. I’ll be all right when I get there but flights and schedules and boarding calls make me anxious.
I am in awe of being in a room with so many accomplished, amazing women. It’s a little hard to wrap my head around being part of that. Do my humble little blogs qualify me for this?
I really want to blog more, to build this thing. I really hope that being at the conference will help me carve out a way to do that in this life. I honestly don’t know how you all do it.
I am not sure what I will do when I step into a hotel room and I am alone. No lunches to make, bums to change, or disputes to referee. But also, no hugs to give or receive and no goodnight kisses. Hmmmmm. I am sure I can find someone at the conference to hug if I need to.
Reading a lot of people’s “pre-conference” posts, it occurs to me that there will be a lot of emotion, of all kinds, when we are all in a room together. Now that will be amazing.
This blogging community is coming together.
I can’t wait.
This is one part of the "community" I don't really know about. I don't feel like a "mummy" blogger. I'm a babylost blogger - pure and simple. I feel like a fraud if I ever slip in to mummy blogging gear. Sometimes it feels as if us babylost bloggers have our own dark little corner and we wouldn't be welcome at places like this. I know that is not true and that stuff is all in my head. But I think I'd feel like such an outsider as most of the mummy blogs I've come across write about things that are (at least mostly) happy and sunshiney and my blog is most certainly not that.
ReplyDeleteReading this though, I wish I could come with you. Though I have NO idea how I'd leave Angus either! At least we could hug each other!
We are going to Sydney for a night in May, so I am going to have to get used to the idea of being away from him, as that date is creeping up quick.
You'll rock the conference, Suz. Your blogs are awesome just as you are.
xo
Howdy, I am trying to frantically do some 'pre-conference research' and dropped on by. It is kind of reassuring to read that I am not the only one freaking out. At least you are organised, you have clothes AND cards and I have neither. See you in Sydney, I will be the one there in shorts and a tshirt, with no cards!
ReplyDeleteOne day I might meet your there :) Your blog is amazing and you've been an inspiration to me in starting my blog... thank you so much :)) Have fun at the conference - looking forward to hearing about it xoxo
ReplyDeleteI am really looking forward to meeting you. We're all nervous, and excited, and a whole bunch of mixed emotions. See you there! xxx
ReplyDeleteCome and hide in the corner with me.
ReplyDeleteI will be the chick texting her husband every five minutes checking to see if her son is OK.
Oh and I am flying in the day before and laying low while I calm the hell down after the travelling.
So we are kindred spirits!