August 31, 2011

Let me know if there's anything I can do






I hear that statement a lot. The offer of "let me know if there's anything I can do" is one which gets thrown about a fair bit in our society. Sometimes I wonder though, how often the offer actually comes to fruition. How often does the recipient of the offer actually take it up and ask for the help they need?

I am someone who finds it difficult to take people up on this kind of generosity. It's not that I don't want the help, it's just that I find myself thinking about other people having busy lives and not wanting to impose on someone else's time.

I make the offer fairly regularly too. But it is rare, probably for much the same reasons, for people to take me up on it. Hmmmmm. It's perplexing this kind of generosity and kindness isn't it? It requires a directness and a willingness to say "yes please, I need your help".

Well tonight, it happened. I have made an offer of help a few times to a special person I know.

Tonight she needed some help. She called in the favour I had so willingly offered. I delievered.

It felt good. I hope it helped. I think it did.


Do you say to people "let me know if there's anything I can do"? Do they take you up on it?
Are you a graceful recipient of someone else's offer of assistance?

Image from We Heart It


10 comments:

  1. Firstly, seriously hope you are not like me and awake at this ungodly hour (in other words hope this was a scheduled post).

    Secondly, I am a doer. People probably think I am bossy and overbearing, but I NEED to be able to help my friends, it is a part of who I am.

    Feels good when someone finally lets you in though.

    Good on you for being the sort of person others CAN count on.

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  2. after the passing of my FIL we had the same thing said over and over...I mentioned it too..even commenting when I pass I will have envolops printed with ..washing, shopping, mopping, cooking so when people ask you can simply hand them an envolop with a smile... ;] (cheeky) sometimes it is just something to say because we may feel helpless.... glad you got the warm and fuzzys and could help your friend x

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  3. "I am someone who finds it difficult to take people up on this kind of generosity. It's not that I don't want the help, it's just that I find myself thinking about other people having busy lives and not wanting to impose on someone else's time."

    This is me exactly. My brain is screaming "Yes, pleasepleaseplease help me" and my mouth is saying "Oh, thanks, but it's fine". And then I go away and cry because I need the help so desperately.

    I love helping other people. I hate (more than you can imagine) how the loss of my license (eyes) has now made that virtually impossible for me. It was part of 'who I was', to be the 'go to girl'. I don't know who I am now.

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  4. I'm hopeless at accepting offers of help. And I figure lots of people feel the same way so I tend to just 'do' stuff. Nothing huge. I'll cook an extra meal when I do the family dinner and drop it off, practical stuff. I just now how crappy I am at calling in favours when I'm struggling so thats what I do. Interesting topic Suz.

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  5. I heard this a lot. An awful lot. But I was the same, terrible at taking people up on their generous offers. Truth be told, most people offer help in the immediate aftermath of the crisis. We probably needed help in the months down the track, but by then the offers had all dried up. Sometimes I used to fantasise about calling some of those people and asking them to come and mow my lawn, do my shopping, walk the dog or whatever, but I wasn't sure if there would still be anyone willing to actually help. I think a lot of those offers do have expiry dates.
    All that said, I know I still make the same offers to others in their time of need. Like others have said above, sometimes it is just better to get in and DO stuff, and not wait to be asked. I'll always remember the people who did that for us.
    xo

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  6. I never take up the offers cause it kinda feels like it is just something you say... like 'fine thanks'.

    I am so proud of you for following through when she asked. That makes you awesome.

    (BTW I have a pic of that little dude in my drafts folder)

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  7. I love to offer to help. And I love it when I've needed help and people have offered. Only one or two people have ever followed through. One was my sister-in-law when I last had to move. She even got her teenage son to help. That is the first time in my life I've had someone help me move, even though I've had offers. This time, she just insisted and I so appreciated it. They helped clean up the crap in my old flat, and put it away nicely in my new place. I couldn't have done it and stayed sane without her.

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  8. i never take up the offers, but i know sometimes i definitely should.
    I do also offer myself alot, i always like to help out my friends, and would do anything to give someone a hand. xx

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  9. It is a great feeling, helping other people.

    Whether you know them or not, see them or not, just knowing a little things from you has helped someone else is a lovely feeling.

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  10. I live in a little village. When I was pregnant with number 2, and still running around with a toddler, loads of my neighbours (mostly retired) offered "if there's anything we can do?" One of my neighbours had given up asking after their offers to use their shower when our boiler was broken for 2 weeks in the winter.
    Eventually I decided that if I wanted to be part of a caring, sharing society and community, that I should ask for help more, accept help more and offer help more.
    So when my car wouldn't start and I needed to get my toddler to the doctor, I asked a neighbour. When I had an appointment during naptime, I asked a neighbour to pop around and watch over the sleeping babes for an hour. Both neighbours seemed to be delighted to have been asked! When we had 3 feet of snow and nobody except my husband (who has a 4x4) could get out of the road, I rang around the neighbours and took shopping lists so that he could pick up essentials from the supermarket on his way home from work.

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