About once a month at our house, we get a phone call asking the Captain or me to participate in a market research study over the phone. I quite like doing the surveys so I often say yes if it won't be too disruptive to the
On Saturday afternoon I answered the phone and agreed to do a survey being conducted by the Trust who manages many of the cemeteries and memorial parks in the city where I live.
It was fascinating and has kept me thinking way after the survey ended.
For fifteen minutes a lovely gentleman and I chatted about death and funerals and how I would want myself to be "memorialised" after my death. We talked about burials and cremations. We talked about the costs of these services. We talked about pre-planned funerals. We talked about whether or not I thought it was appropriate that memorial parks and their facilities have multiple community usage for things like festivals, conferences or bereavement education. I expressed the opinion that I don't believe that as a society we "do grief" very well and that I think there is a long way to go to educate the broader populus in how to best support those who are grieving.
The thing that surprised me a little about the survey was how easily and concisely the answers came out of my mouth. Sure, they are things I have thought about and the Captain and I have had bits and pieces of conversation about them but here I was, with a stranger, being completely clear about what I wanted my "after" to look like.
Burial? - no.
Cremation? - yes.
Pre-planned funeral? - great idea but have never got around to doing it
Funeral pre-planned online? - sure.
Ashes in a garden or crypt in the cemetery? - no.
Ashes scattered in a place of natural beauty? - Yes. Yes. Yes.
It felt good not to be conflicted about any of this. It just felt good to know.
Do you do market research stuff? Do you think about questions like these? Do you know the answers?
Postscript: As I finished off this post this morning, a program came on the radio here to discuss death and dying. An End of Life Forum they called it. It's worth a listen if you are so inclined. xx
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I never really had any idea of whether I'd be buried or cremated, or where, but now that Hope has died, I know I'll be buried with her. So will Simon. We're both going in there with her. The plot was booked for all three of us when we arranged her funeral. It was a very strange thing to know that at only 28, I knew where I'd spend eternity. Even stranger watching her coffin be lowered on the day of her funeral, to know I'd one day end up in there. I still can't get my head around it.
ReplyDeleteAs for the surveys, I used to do them, but in my post-Angus life, I generally fob them off! My bad.
xo
You are good to do those surveys. I used to do political ones - I think I may have fallen off their lists...
ReplyDeleteThe grief and funeral thing. I read The Vacillations of Poppy Carew at the same time as I left home. It's a novel that deals with death and funerals, and changes in relationships. As a result, I wrote out my "what needs to happen when I die" plans at a young age.
I have shown lovely husband and he thinks its hilarious that I have had a funeral plan since I was 17 years old. But it makes me feel safe.
xxx