A use for your spray cleaner you may not have thought of (inspiration)

I went to a kinder committee meeting this week.
They can be a good source of inspiration, these meetings, lots of tips and tricks for all kinds of domestic bliss/mothering mayhem are spoken about in between the president's report, the supper and the general business.

This week I came home with a gem.

A few of us had a chat about weight loss, as you do. I said that one of the things I have found the hardest about weight loss is the children's food at dinner time, the leftovers going begging, a stray piece of sausage, a slice of bread, easily inhaled standing at the kitchen bench.

"Oh no, I've solved that one" boomed one in the group.
"I wait" she said, "until I am sure that the kids have finished eating. I put their plates up on a high shelf and spray the leftovers liberally with spray cleaner. Then I'm not tempted."

Cue much laughter. But I had to acknowledge that while maybe a little extreme, this method had definite potential.


What lengths do you go to to get those pesky kilos off?

Image via We Heart It

One of the sweetest moments in the day...thank you Giggle and Hoot

The end of the day for little ones is nigh.
The Batsman and the Bowler are all clean, bundled in warm pyjamas.
Faces shining, hair still a little damp.
They perch on the couch, books and favourite toys close.
Dinner hour craziness is an escaping memory.
The lure of  a peaceful house beckons.
Little boys eyes are expectant as the Captain and I join them on the couch.
And then it is upon us.
One of the sweetest moments in the day.
As Giggle and Hoot serenade my boys to bed.

Hoots Lullaby

What a day its been, What a magic day Shhhh can you hear the moon is on its way.
It's time for all the stars, that sparkle in your eyes, to fly through the night and light up the sky.
What a day its been, laughing with our friends, now that the sun has sunk into its bed.
It's time for Hoot to go and watch over you at night, fill your head with sweet dreams under soft moon light.
And soon the smiling sun will rise again... and light the way to a bright new day.
"see you in the morning"... hoot hoot

Both the Batsman and the Bowler's eyes light up when Giggle and Hoot grace the screen and especially so during the "goodnight song".

And for me, the proudest mum in the world, it's just one of those wistful, sweet, sweet moments where I receive the gift of watching my children while they are enthralled in something they love.
Sweet, sweet love.

What are the sweetest moments in your day? Do you love Giggle and Hoot?
Image

On thoughts provoked and drowning

So many wonderful posts have been written about the inaugural Aussie Bloggers Conference. You can read them here. It was an extraordinary weekend, it really was. There have been summaries, succinct and to the point, there have been blow by blow accounts, rambling and weaving, and there have been snapshots, posts that have captured a single (often hilarious or moving) moment in time. All these posts record, for all eternity, the Aussie Bloggers Conference in all its glory, for those like me who were there and those who were not.


I wanted to be among those early posts. I really did. But the demands of a Batsman very anxious upon my return, the daily slog of his early intervention program, a kinder committee meeting, a deluge of other stuff and nonsense all rolled up in a hangover just didn’t allow it to happen. More on that later.


The weekend provoked a lot of thinking for me and I remain in a neurological tussle to process and make sense of it all. Here’s the shorthand version of what it has made me think about.


• I met amazing women. Such a privilege to meet those I have long admired, read, cried and laughed with. And there was this guy, who I think is beautiful and funny.
• People are their blogs. Authentic, raw, gutsy, funny, moving.
• Why am I blogging? What it’s all for?
• What will I do about reviews and sponsored posts and the $ generally?
• Social media – tweet tweet
• Privacy – mine, my kids’, protecting all of us
• Do I really want my mum to read my blog?
• Keeping it real. Content is queen.
• Blogging as community. Extraordinary community.


Like I said, it was an extraordinary gathering. Thanks to the organisers who made it so.


So, it has taken me till now to blog about the conference. There’s a whole lot of reasons and I know I don’t need to make excuses, tell you why, justify my bloggy timetabling and all that but I think, through my insomnia last night I have got to some real stuff. I want to share it.


I haven’t blogged about the conference till now because in all truth, it made me a little bit sad, about me, about who I used to be, not so long ago.


Once upon a time, maybe a year or so ago, I would have been more confident, less anxious and fearful, more willing to let it all hang out, less worried about whether others would like me, more able to bounce around and introduce myself to people, more able to be in the centre of the action, less, way less, self conscious. It’s not so now and the conference weekend allowed me to see all that.


Truth is, once the adrenalin of the weekend faded a bit, what was there was sadness. Isolation. Fear. Overwhelm. Anxiety. All of it. Can’t really write that on a feedback sheet can you?


The last eighteen months has been tough, there’s no denying it. The Bowler’s birth and sleep depriving ways, confronting the Batsman’s diagnosis with autism and the craziness that has brought to our family life has all taken a toll. While I probably look to lots of people to be managing it all and coping with the rollercoaster ride, in reality it’s a struggle. It’s fucking hard in fact. And I am pretty damn good at saying to myself, “hey Suz, look at what that person is going through, you are ok, you’re lucky, get on with it”. I don’t let it in because that means loosening that very tight grip I have on it all. The old me, the one who was a little more carefree and a lot more fun; she has been hanging so tightly that she’s at least in part, disappeared from view.


But today, on the third day in a row of waking up feeling sad, teary and overwhelmed, I said to the Captain “I feel like I’m drowning”. Drowning in stuff that needs to be done, drowning in the pressure I feel to do all that I can for Batsman as he struggles through “autism town” and drowning under the weight of my own expectations of myself.


I walked on the treadmill at the gym this morning, with tears welling while Pat Benatar sang in my IPod about it being a cold world when you keep it all to yourself. Gawd, doesn’t that sound like a soapie episode? Does anyone cry while they are in the middle of a gym workout? Probably someone who is depressed and anxious and struggling does. And did I mention how utterly exhausted I am? All the way through my bones.


So here I am. I am putting it out there with all of you. The weekend was amazing and I am so grateful to have met so many gorgeous people. But it wasn’t all sunshine and roses for me. I want to be real about this and it’s so bloody scary to do that.


But I don’t want to drown.

On Mother's Day

I have mixed feelings about Mother’s Day. It is wonderful to have the opportunity to honour and thank my mum for who she is and all that she does. Since the Captain and I became a partnership, it has often been a tricky day with juggling both families, expectations, joint gifts and other associated kerfuffle. I really don’t like the commercialism of the day and the opportunity taken by all retailers everywhere to turn the occasion into yet another gift extravaganza on the calendar and see how many very ordinary pairs of fluffy slippers made in China can make their way into homes across Australia. Yep, mixed feelings.

However, since becoming a mum I am aware now, of what the day means to so many, not as the child, but as the mum. There is a wonderful opportunity to celebrate and be celebrated, to cherish the time spent with your children and partner...a day of love. On Mother’s Day there is sadness too. Sadness for friends who are missing their mums and sadness for those friends who are missing their babies. There is a little sadness for me too as I think of the two twinkling little stars who never quite made it into the world. Yep, more mixed feelings.


Mixed feelings aside, today has been a lovely day. Early morning cuddles from the Batsman and the Bowler and cocoa pops in bed. A bracelet and brooch made by the Batsman at kinder. A handmade card. Chocolate. Cake. More chocolate. Some time with my mum and dad. And a part of the day that is often my very favourite time...a warm, sudsy bath with both my little boys (it’s a big bath!). The warm water relaxes everyone and we spend lots of time blowing bubbles, splashing and singing. Such a lovely day.


My beautiful Batsman and my gorgeous Bowler,
Thank you for being the most lovely boys in the world.
Thank you for somehow finding your way to me and giving me the privilege of being your mum.
For the cuddles and the smiles, the tears and the tumbles, the highs and the lows, the goodnight kisses and the early morning wrestles on the bed – thankyou.
I am so proud of both of you and I know how fortunate I am to have you with me.
I love you.
Mummy xx