unwinding

I am not so good at unwinding from my stress.
It is a skill I am yet to master in my forty something years. 

One of my major goals for this year is to work on unwinding the knots. I want to carve out time for me, relish a little peace, find my well being and vitality and manage my (over) commitments. 

Weekends and short trips away are a part of that plan. Changes of scenery are so good for heart and mind. After the rigors of our big boy starting school then, the timing of Unblogged, the brainchild of Clairey Hewitt, was just perfect. 

We took our time, we lazed, we ate casually and the kids played. It was just beautiful.

In the very beautiful Halls Gap, unwinding was most certainly within reach. Thanks Claire and other “unbloggers” for lovely conversation and company. And Halls Gap, you are stunning. We will be back.

I am a Gemini so let's see if I can complete Blogvember

 

 

“Geminis have a dual nature and therefore seem changeable, sometimes reckless and fickle. They tend to do many different things superficially. Totally flexible and adaptable, they can work at multiple tasks simultaneously but they may lack persistence” Source: Here

Hmmm.

My life is littered with quite a bit of stuff that I haven’t persisted with. Hobbies are the main offender, in particular, craft, for which I have great desire but little talent. It always looks so much better in my mind’s eye than in reality. Cross stitch anyone? Who wants to make a Christmas wreath? I have the materials stashed in a cupboard somewhere. I also confess to never having managed to finish one of those “photo a day” challenges run by the very clever Fat Mum Slim. There are quite a few unfinished books littered around the house on the shelf too. It seems that I have all good intentions but I don’t always follow through. Food projects, though, are something I always complete. Go figure.

So when I saw my friend Naomi was going to take on the Blogvember challenge of posting every day for the whole month I thought “what’s another unfinished project between friends” “why not give it a crack?”.

So here I am.

I have two blogs, this one and The I Love You Song where I write about our autism adventures with our very gorgeous Batsman. For Blogvember I am going to alternate between the two blogs. One day, I will be here. The next day I will be over there. I hope you will join me and hop around.

And, if you are one of those people who does manage to finish projects, feel free to give me advice and a good kick up the backside if you notice me wavering.

I would really like to finish this one.

PS: I am going all out and doing #FMSPhotoADay too. If you want to see how far this Gemini can go you can find me here or here.

Image via WeHeartIt

You never know the impact your blog post will have

I read a lot of blog posts. Loads of them.

I love being able to be a little inside the minds of others. I love to read about what happens in their worlds and draw inspiration from their insights. I hope too, that ocasionally I can offer insight back in return.

As a parent, and particularly as a parent of a child with special needs, it is an absolute gift to have access to the often wise words from our global internet village of mums and dads. Parenting can be an isolating gig and sometimes it strikes me as a wee bit sad that the actual, real life village is often not there and for many of us, there is this, blog and social media land, to make these connections. But no matter because I reckon the universe gives you what you need when you need it. Perhaps where it comes from is not important.

Every now and then, I read a blog post that literally shifts something in me. A post that connects with me, speaks to me, takes some issue I have been struggling with into a new paradigm. That happened to me the day before yesterday when I came across this post. Ruth from Gourmet Girlfriend writes sagely in the post about fussy eating and her approach to feeding her kids - and when I started to read, I sat up and really took notice. She knows stuff - she has five, yes, 5 boys. So run away now and read the post and come back if you like...

I cried when I read it because I realised just how much I have been beating myself up about what the Batsman and the Bowler will and won't eat. The Batsman's sensory sensitivities (thank you autism, not), add a layer of complication to the eating caper that at many a dinner time has figuratively brought me to my parenting knees. I'm not going to air that pain here because I just don't want to give it any more power.

So I read Ruth's post and since I did I have been:

• reading cookbooks and food magazines and getting re-inspired about things I can cook for us to eat as a family.
• consciously reminding myself to let go of the stress and self flogging that for such a long time has gone with feeding the boys.
• feeling freed up
• going back and reading the post a few more times!

Something has shifted in my mind about this whole issue. It feels great.
Tonight, for the first time ever, yes EVER, the Batsman ate pieces of chicken breast that hadn't been chopped, minced, hidden or otherwise kitchen modified. He ate beautiful, crumbed and seasoned chunks of chicken breast. He chewed and chatted and swallowed without angst or upset.

It was amazing. And I can't help but think that perhaps Ruth's post had more than a little to do with it. The universe gives you what you need.

And what I want to say most of all is that we all have this most amazing opportunity when we blog, to put words out there for others to read and be inspired by. You never know the impact your blog post will have.









Image via we heart it

Grateful, happy 2nd birthday Segovia and you get to do the giving

It's two years ago today that I began to write this blog.

Happy bloggy birthday to me. Happy second birthday Segovia, my little corner of the internet where I began to write for me again, to put into words what moves and inspires me and to capture moments in the lives of our boys and the experience of being their mum. Segovia began slowly and intermittently and it has taken time to get into a blogging groove. Now, I couldn't imagine life without this little space, without my other blog, The I Love You Song where I tell the Batsman's autism story and without the amazingly gorgeous people I have connected with through blogging.
Thank you for being here. I love it.

I love it too, that people mark blogging milestones and birthdays. One year, ten years, one hundred posts or a thousand, it is a wonderful thing to mark the achievement, the words put down, the self expression, the connections - all of it. Lots of people having blog birthdays manage to arrange fabulous giveaways and the like to celebrate. I have not been anywhere near organised enough to achieve that however I want to turn the idea completely on it's head.

It's Segovia's birthday and you get to do the giving. Stay with me and I will get to the point.

I have written before of how grateful I am for this place. The Learning for Life Autism Centre provide the Batsman's home based early intervention program and have done so day in day out for almost  eighteen months. The program and therapy team have made an extraordinary difference in all aspects of the Batsman's development and Learning for Life deliver the program with compassion, expertise, grace and respect. I am just so very grateful for all they have done and continue to do to support our precious boy.

Each year in November, Learning for Life hold a huge fundraising ball to raise money. Early intervention programs of this magnitude and intensity cost big bucks and are beyond the financial reach of most families. In addition to their therapy programs, Learning for Life and their volunteers fundraise to subsidise the cost of programs for families who would otherwise be unable to provide this type of intervention for their child.

So here is where you come in.

As part of the Learning for Life Ball each year there is a live auction and a silent auction where an amazing array of donated goodies fall under the auctioneer's hammer. If you, or someone you know, is in a position to donate an item, goods or a service for the auction, then I would love to hear from you. So far, I have gathered donated items as diverse as a professional architecture service package worth $3000, a grove of semi-mature trees ready to plant, cases of wine, a hamper of deli goods and gift cards from big department stores. The only real provisos are that the item or service would need to be redeemable in Melbourne, Australia and be something that you can imagine a crowd of some 350 enthusiastic ball-goers would be willing to bid for. Think big, think small - it could be anything!

If you are able to donate an auction item and help a child with autism receive a program just like the one that is helping the Batsman be all he can be, leave me a comment below with details and I will email you.

Thanks so much for reading this and helping me celebrate Segovia's bloggy birthday.

Have an amazing weekend.

Grateful for bloggy friends

Autism kicked my butt today. Anxiety and meltdowns were the order of the day for precious eldest. It was a tough afternoon with little rhyme or reason.

So often now, my online life is the place I go to for solace and comfort. I went there tonight. I blogged and I tweeted. Those bloggy friends, those connections forged through great gals being willing to read what I share and to share with me, they came in numbers to comfort, encourage, make me smile, share and empathise. Lucky me.

There are great supportive people in my real life too, it's just not as easy to connect, to share what's going on, to ask for help. Our online presence has certainly changed the way we do connection don't you think?

So this week's grateful shout out goes to those beautiful bloggy friends who cheer me on so consistently.

You know who you are.

Know that I am grateful.

PS: Thank you to all of you who read here. I love it that you are willing to read what I write. In case you didn't know, I write a blog exclusively about the Batsman's autism journey over here at The I Love You Song. I'd love you to follow me there too if you are so inclined.

PPS: Thanks Maxabella for the Grateful link up.

Is anyone else like me? Or how to be a bit clueless in your 99th blog post (reality)

This Saturday I will be going to Nuffnang Blogopolis.
Am I excited? I have no idea.
Am I prepared? Most definitely not.
There has been no time to think about it.
I have watched the blog posts and the status updates and the tweets float by me on the rapids and I still have not put much thought into gathering with a few hundred bloggers in my home town.
Lots of bloggers have been busily making lunch and dinner and drinks plans, shopping, chatting and drinking copious amounts of coffee. You name it they will be doing it. I have one little plan made to have a sandwich with a lovely one. And that's it.

I honestly have no idea how people fit in all the tweeting and blogging and arranging stuff. No idea. I feel utterly clueless and quite a bit out of the loop. I am too busy, most days, surviving.

Busy days filled with autism, therapy, anxiety, meetings, meltdowns, achievements and wins.

The Bowler whose favourite word right now is NO. Yes I mean "No, I don't want to", "No, it's mine", "No, don't touch it". Someone please send me some strength.

The never ending housework and piles of washing. So. Far. Behind.

Cooped up kids with winter cabin fever wrestling on the couch. I need strength for that too.

Being the kinder secretary. Enough said.

The punishing exercise schedule I have set for myself. 5 kilograms more off my bum by the first day of spring.

All of that. And when I read back over that list I know that I am doing way more than surviving. I am living a full and rich and busy and amazing life with my three boys. The sudden and devastating death of someone I knew well almost three weeks ago has been one of those perspective giving kicks up the bum about getting on with it, about being grateful and about giving it all you've got.

So, I will be literally flying by the seat of my pants all the way to Blogopolis. For the most part, clueless. Really. 


Is anyone else like me and completely unprepared for Blogopolis? Are you rocking up with your arrangements all done and dusted or are you crossing your fingers and hoping you find someone you know?

The Happiness Project and what I learnt from it

This past month I have participated in the Happiness Project, a lovely blogging for life idea hosted by the very gorgeous Naomi at Seven Cherubs. A simple project, the HP required all who participated to keep a one sentence a day journal about what made us happy on that day.

Today is the day when the posts of all those who participated link up in one very happy little gathering.

Here is mine. You can read others who have linked up here.

April 10
A half hour on a rainy Sunday afternoon curled up on the bed with the Batsman, watching the curl of his eyelashes and the delight in his eye as a new book unfolds...and the moment where the Batsman, watching the Captain planting vegetable seedlings with gardening gloves on, races with intent into the bathroom and comes out wearing a hot pink loofah glove, all ready to help with the gardening.
April 11
A half hour on the computer with no interruptions, the Bowler sleeping for almost two hours mid afternoon and a new book purchase on making preserves....jam and jelly here we come.
April 12
The rain drizzling down on the newly planted winter vegie seedlings, two little boys enjoying home made baby cinos, the arrival of beautiful pink cupcake papers, pear and cinnamon pudding baking slowly and a spontaneous rendition of "When You're Happy and You Know it".
April 13
The buzz following my 6am gym workout
April 14
Meeting an old friend and coffee, sweet coffee
April 15
Beautiful photographs hung on the wall by a professional picture hanger....I could sit and look at these photos all day.
April 16
Good coffee.....I'd like some more please.
April 17
Getting to the bottom of the washing basket - small miracle.
April 18
A trip to the gym at 6am (so proud of myself for getting out of bed) and an aquarium visit where the Batsman managed his sensory issues sooooooo well
April 19
The most divine Lebanese dinner with two lovely friends and children that go to bed peacefully on time.
April 20
A wee bit of weight loss and seeing my boy have a red hot go at learning to ride a scooter.
April 21
A little bit of me time with some music, a cup of tea and a gourmet traveller magazine.
April 22
Good Friday fish and chips with friends with chocolate in abundance and an Easter egg hunt with plenty of action
April 23
Making hot cross buns from scratch
April 24
A 12 hour roasted leg of lamb and duck fat roast potatoes.....oooo la la
April 25
A solo walk through the Fitzroy Gardens in the autumn sunshine
April 26
Watching my boys frolic among the autumn leaves and our beautiful Batsman really master his scooter riding.
April 27
Getting my over indulged Easter butt out of bed and to the gym at 6am and a friend offering to take a turn to record minutes at the kinder meeting
April 28
A sparkiling clean house - thanks Marj! - a coffee with my old boss and realising that I don't really miss work and date night with the Captain to see "I Love You Phillip Morris"
April 29
A brilliant report for the Batsman at our 6 monthly developmental paediatrician appointment and a gorgeous, sunshiney Mummy and Batsman excursion to the Queen Victoria Market which produced THE juiciest sweetest strawberries I have ever tasted, a chicken and Chinese rice wine ready for poaching and a calorie free spicy lamb borek that just oozed with flavour.
April 30
A haircut, a massage from the myotherapist and a date night to see a concert at the Melbourne Recital Centre to see these guys.
May 1
The farmers market for fresh chinese greens, a slow day for everyone, some bewdiful chocolate and a snuggle with the Batsman on the couch.
May 2
Getting motivated to do a circuit class at the gym, making it to the other end of the whole gym hour and the Batsman initiating to do a wee in the loo all by himself. Oh, and losing 2.3kg in 3 weeks makes me pretty happy too.
May 3
Ginger cake rich with golden syrup, a playdate for toddlers and a warm bath to soak away the sore muscles from yesterday's exercise class debacle achievement.
May 4
Gym work out and pilates in the one day and a total of 3.3kg dropped in 3 weeks of healthier living
May 5
Poached eggs on toast, alone, and completing the task of wrapping up home made jam and relish for the kinder Mother's Day stall
May 6
Being told by the childcare staff what a joy my Bowler is to look after and how happy and mischievious and inquisitive he is at child care
May 7
The Batsman helping himself become accustomed and less fearful of the dark by playing a lovely pre-bedtime game of "now it's light" and "now it's dark"....joy and excitement and daring are in his voice.
May 8
A mother's day sleep in, cuddles with my boys and a wintry afternoon inside at the beach house, watching the waves chop around and the dark grey clouds roll over us.
May 9
The Batsman's achievements at his OT appointment were many and varied this month and that always makes my heart sing.
May 10
I heart Pilates, stretching and learning to move my body well makes me happy.

So that was my month of happy moments.
And what did I learn from it?
Well.....
I think I already knew what makes me happy but I think what I fell in love with all over again is being present, being in the moment and being there to notice the happy moments. Not rushing so much that they pass you by in a blur. Showing up for the good stuff, trudging through the hard stuff and realising that there is "nowhere to get".

So......what makes me happy are
my kids and my man,
cooking as therapy,
blogging,
looking after myself,
small moments,
friends,
coffee.

I am fortunate. I have a great life. I'm glad I stopped to notice.

It seemed like a good idea

Image by Salvatore Vuono / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

One week from now I will have packed my bags. I don’t think it has hit me yet. That I am going to Aussie Bloggers Conference.
In Sydney. Next week.
Today it became a lot more real when my “business” cards arrived by post. They look gorgeous (if I do say so myself).
I’ve got myself some clothes to wear (notwithstanding an inevitable last minute shopping frenzy).
The Captain is looking forward to his “daddy time” weekend with the boys and my mum has been marshalled to help with the Saturday morning swimming lesson expedition. So they’re all sorted.
The thing that’s probably not sorted is me. My thoughts about going to the conference are a big, messy jumble. So I reckon the best thing is to put them here, to purge them from swimming around up there, to let them roam around in bloggy land.


So here goes.


It seemed like a good idea when I bought my tickets but now I’m nervous. I’m nervous about “belonging”, nervous about so many new people in one hit, nervous about making new friends.


It’s really hard to leave my kids. It will be really good for me to have a break but my heart hurts when I am not with them.


Travelling really raises my level of anxiety. I’ll be all right when I get there but flights and schedules and boarding calls make me anxious.


I am in awe of being in a room with so many accomplished, amazing women. It’s a little hard to wrap my head around being part of that. Do my humble little blogs qualify me for this?


I really want to blog more, to build this thing. I really hope that being at the conference will help me carve out a way to do that in this life. I honestly don’t know how you all do it.


I am not sure what I will do when I step into a hotel room and I am alone. No lunches to make, bums to change, or disputes to referee. But also, no hugs to give or receive and no goodnight kisses. Hmmmmm. I am sure I can find someone at the conference to hug if I need to.


Reading a lot of people’s “pre-conference” posts, it occurs to me that there will be a lot of emotion, of all kinds, when we are all in a room together. Now that will be amazing.


This blogging community is coming together.


I can’t wait.

Where I blog - today at least

I don't really have a set space for blogging. We have a study but it is a pigsty less than inviting. I tend to move around the house with laptop or netbook depending on what is happening in the day...sometimes it's the kitchen bench so I can look at a recipe or two as I go. Late night blogging happens on the couch, where the later it gets the further I sink into the cushions, whoops, fallen asleep. When I really want to stay awake concentrate, I sit at the kitchen table. I guess you could say I am a bit of an itinerant blogger, but I'm sure there's lots of us like that. With the Batsman's autism early intervention/therapy program based at home, sometimes it's best if I can get myself out of the house. He (and the therapists) can get on with their work and play and I can stop that nagging little feeling of guilt discomfort that I have that it should be me doing all more of the work with him. Besides, it's lovely to be out in the world with some good coffee, some fruit salad (thanks Lucy for the inspiration this morning) and the buzz of the traffic and trains past the window. So today I blog here and it's gorgeous.

Getting started again

I have a new friend. My new friend is helping me start again with blogging.

Last year I let everything overwhelm me and well....I just had way too much to deal with after the Batsman’s diagnosis with autism. Blogging seemed like a luxury amidst the daily chaos of early intervention programs, speech therapy and getting my heart and head around what it all meant for our beautiful little boy, his beautiful little brother and for us. I literally fell onto the couch or into bed every night for 6 months, physically and emotionally spent. With hindsight I can see that blogging was exactly what I should have been doing to process it all. But I didn’t.
And now I want to get started with it again. Enter my new friend.

The Captain bought this great little Samsung netbook for me for Christmas and now I can curl up on the couch and blog to my heart’s content. Or my little friend can come with me to a cafe or a waiting room or just about anywhere really. I just love it. Thank you to my Captain for such a thoughtful and lovely gift.

Let’s get blogging.

Suz xx