Grateful, happy 2nd birthday Segovia and you get to do the giving

It's two years ago today that I began to write this blog.

Happy bloggy birthday to me. Happy second birthday Segovia, my little corner of the internet where I began to write for me again, to put into words what moves and inspires me and to capture moments in the lives of our boys and the experience of being their mum. Segovia began slowly and intermittently and it has taken time to get into a blogging groove. Now, I couldn't imagine life without this little space, without my other blog, The I Love You Song where I tell the Batsman's autism story and without the amazingly gorgeous people I have connected with through blogging.
Thank you for being here. I love it.

I love it too, that people mark blogging milestones and birthdays. One year, ten years, one hundred posts or a thousand, it is a wonderful thing to mark the achievement, the words put down, the self expression, the connections - all of it. Lots of people having blog birthdays manage to arrange fabulous giveaways and the like to celebrate. I have not been anywhere near organised enough to achieve that however I want to turn the idea completely on it's head.

It's Segovia's birthday and you get to do the giving. Stay with me and I will get to the point.

I have written before of how grateful I am for this place. The Learning for Life Autism Centre provide the Batsman's home based early intervention program and have done so day in day out for almost  eighteen months. The program and therapy team have made an extraordinary difference in all aspects of the Batsman's development and Learning for Life deliver the program with compassion, expertise, grace and respect. I am just so very grateful for all they have done and continue to do to support our precious boy.

Each year in November, Learning for Life hold a huge fundraising ball to raise money. Early intervention programs of this magnitude and intensity cost big bucks and are beyond the financial reach of most families. In addition to their therapy programs, Learning for Life and their volunteers fundraise to subsidise the cost of programs for families who would otherwise be unable to provide this type of intervention for their child.

So here is where you come in.

As part of the Learning for Life Ball each year there is a live auction and a silent auction where an amazing array of donated goodies fall under the auctioneer's hammer. If you, or someone you know, is in a position to donate an item, goods or a service for the auction, then I would love to hear from you. So far, I have gathered donated items as diverse as a professional architecture service package worth $3000, a grove of semi-mature trees ready to plant, cases of wine, a hamper of deli goods and gift cards from big department stores. The only real provisos are that the item or service would need to be redeemable in Melbourne, Australia and be something that you can imagine a crowd of some 350 enthusiastic ball-goers would be willing to bid for. Think big, think small - it could be anything!

If you are able to donate an auction item and help a child with autism receive a program just like the one that is helping the Batsman be all he can be, leave me a comment below with details and I will email you.

Thanks so much for reading this and helping me celebrate Segovia's bloggy birthday.

Have an amazing weekend.

Grateful for bloggy friends

Autism kicked my butt today. Anxiety and meltdowns were the order of the day for precious eldest. It was a tough afternoon with little rhyme or reason.

So often now, my online life is the place I go to for solace and comfort. I went there tonight. I blogged and I tweeted. Those bloggy friends, those connections forged through great gals being willing to read what I share and to share with me, they came in numbers to comfort, encourage, make me smile, share and empathise. Lucky me.

There are great supportive people in my real life too, it's just not as easy to connect, to share what's going on, to ask for help. Our online presence has certainly changed the way we do connection don't you think?

So this week's grateful shout out goes to those beautiful bloggy friends who cheer me on so consistently.

You know who you are.

Know that I am grateful.

PS: Thank you to all of you who read here. I love it that you are willing to read what I write. In case you didn't know, I write a blog exclusively about the Batsman's autism journey over here at The I Love You Song. I'd love you to follow me there too if you are so inclined.

PPS: Thanks Maxabella for the Grateful link up.

Grateful for joy

I spend so much time rushing around, doing what has to be done. Perhaps I also rush around doing stuff that doesn't have to be done. Hmmmm.

With the Batsman's autism early intervention program based here in our home, life is highly scheduled by necessity. It works better that way. Everyone gets what they want and need most of the time and the Batsman gets the routine and predictability that helps him tick along with minimal anxiety.

Sometimes though, I feel that while it looks to the outside observer like the family of ducks gliding peacefully across the pond, underneath it is me paddling my little webbed feet at lightning speed to stop us all from going under. When you are paddling like that, you can miss stuff. You can miss the good stuff while you are busy making sure the icing doesn't melt off the side of the cake.

So, I am consciously working on being present in my own life. I remind myself to pause and notice the little moments. The ones that bring joy. The moment where the Bowler says something hilarious. The moment where the Batsman gets his "my", "yours" and "I" right and articulates himself with amazing clarity. The swan we saw tonight flapping its wings to ward off some annoying nearby ducks. The stunning rainbows we have had in Melbourne lately. The first sip of the first soy latte of the day.

Small things. Small moments. Joy.

I'm grateful.




Image via we heart it

We're going to the circus

The weekend has arrived.
Phew. The week has seemed long and busy and full. Too full.
I love the weekends. It's time to slow down.
And this weekend there is great fun ahead because we are going to the circus.
A little bit of solo time for me and the Batsman.

I'm grateful to go a wee bit slower for a couple of days and I'm grateful for the businessman who donated our circus tickets. Thank you.

Now, if you will excuse me, I have a couch to nap on.




Image via we heart it

Grateful for pen and paper

I think that with all the technology that surrounds me these days, my fingers have almost lost their intrinsic ability to write on paper. Laptops, smart phones, keyboards...all of it making life move faster than ever before. Sometimes when I sit down to write something with a pen, after a few minutes, my hand is aching, so little practice does it have at forming the words manually.

Today I had an idea in my head and I tried so hard to get it to flow out of my brain and through the keyboard. It wouldn't come. I couldn't get that momentum going and I knew that I had to change something for me to get there. I took a notebook and a pen and trundled to my favourite cafe of the moment (likely to be forever actually) and I sat, with coffee in hand, and I wrote and wrote and wrote. The rhythm of the pen back and forth was comforting as the words finally made their way forth.

The words will make their way onto here sometime soon. But until then I am grateful for a little break in the day to write and my trusty pen and paper.

Thanks Maxabella for hosting our gratitude and the image is courtesy We Heart It.

Grateful for life, just life

This post was going to be about being grateful for some time in the last couple of days. Time to tick some things off the list, pay some bills, tidy the study, clean out the pantry, play with the kids, bake cinnamon buns. Lovely domesticity.

This post was going to be about that.

And then an hour ago I received a phone call to tell me of the sudden death of the wife of a very dear work colleague. Sudden. Random. Indiscriminate. Without warning. Dead. Just like that.

I knew her too. For years.

Devastating.

So tonight I am grateful for life, just life. Everything and nothing. Living and loving. And in a few minutes I will creep into the boys' bedrooms and kiss them with a poignancy and a gratitude made all the more powerful by being reminded how fleeting it all can be, how randomly it can be over.

Hug the ones you love. Tell them. Make it count. Be grateful. Always.


Linking with Maxabella tonight xx

Image via We Heart It

Weekend grateful - getting fit

It's not just the numbers on the scales.
I can feel it.
The flexibility increasing, the strength growing. I can do push ups and survive them.
My stamina is so much better than it was two months ago.
I do the gym circuit class three or four times a week and I work hard for an hour each time. I get to the end and even though I have sweated and puffed, I don't feel completely shattered like I did when I first started.
I can see it too. When the Captain took some photos of me and the boys yesterday to mark my birthday, it was the first time in a long time where I could look at them and feel ok. There's a way to go still, but the photos didn't repulse me. That's huge for me.

I have dispensed with 7.2 kilograms. I am so proud of myself and grateful that I am feeling fitter and healthier.

As always, singing a grateful tune along with Maxabella.
This is a bit drab 2 fab too so I am linking up with Lucy as well. xx

Vintage fitness equipment via We Heart It .

Weekend grateful - community

I love my little community.
I'm grateful for what the local community in our middle of the road Melbourne suburb bring to my daily life and the community experience of the Batsman and the Bowler.

Would you like to meet them?

There is the glorious rainbow of characters who volunteer in the op shop. They can always be relied upon for a warm greeting, a conversation about preserving fruit (I buy lots of jars in there) and an eclectic exchange about the day's best op shop pickings.

The polished and professional boys who work at the post office...they didn't even flinch the other day when I told them I had to send a sample of the Batsman's wee to Paris for an autism study on environmental toxins. We just filled out a customs declaration and away went the wee to France courtesy Australia Post.

The women who work in deli are just lovely. They gently encourage the Batsman to finish his sandwich and milk shake with the promise of a treat to follow. They ply our rowdy Bowler with babycino and Italian vanilla shortbread and minute by minute he is learning all of their names and falling a little in love with their kindness.

In deli number 2, the proprietor chats with me about all things olives, salami and preserved lemons with a side order of autism. He always asks how things are going. He has personal experience of autism.

The florist is warm and boisterous, a salt of the earth type who keeps a parrot in a huge cage out the front of the shop for the local kids to speak to on their way past.

And there's the gorgeous Italian family who run the fruit and vegetable shop who have become like family to us during the last 5 years. I see them almost every day and they never fail to greet me and the kids warmly. The Batsman is so confident with his "fruit and veg" family that he takes off solo to the back of the shop to find "the boys" who deliver tickles and high fives and grapes in equal and generous measure. About once a week I am so very touched when someone from the family asks me in depth about the Batsman's progress in his therapy program. And they always ask, "and what about you, are you ok? Are you looking after yourself?"

I could go on and on about our little community shopping street. I feel so very fortunate that the boys can grow up feeling connected with those around them, that they are a part of something, that there are people who care for them and love to see them in their day to day travels.
I'm grateful little community, so very grateful.

And thanks too Maxabella

Image via We Heart It

Weekend grateful - a friend

I have missed a couple of weeks of Weekend Grateful.

Life got in the way of being grateful. Oops.

But this week I am back. Being in the presence of gratitude for what we have in our lives is a lovely thing. Thanks Maxabella.

This week I am grateful for my friend T. I am so very fortunate to have her in my life.

She is the voice of reason. The one who, when I am full of angst about something, says “Yeah, except I’m going to be the voice who says.....” and all of this wisdom comes out. She gives, both the wisdom, and the friendship, without expectation or judgement. She has stuck with me but not crowded me. She loves my boys and watches them grow with the pride of the proudest aunty. She writes postcards and letters to the Batsman with pictures of trains and penguins, whatever she knows is his latest craze. The joy on his face as he fetches T’s latest offering from the letterbox is pure gold.

My friendship with T is one of those ones where even if we don’t speak for a while, there is no gap in the communication. We talk about everything and anything. We tolerate each other’s football team choices.

I saw T yesterday. We had coffee and a chat. I told her about my never ending to-do list and how when I get some time to complete some tasks without the boys with me that I am often struck by the paralysis of what to do first. Quick Suz, make the most of the time. Productive. And then came the wisdom.

T said, “how about instead of thinking about what you’re going to do, you think about what you’re going to be?”

A to-be list instead of a to-do list. More gold. Thanks T.

PS: I’m also grateful for this post. You made a huge difference yesterday Bianca. If you haven’t read the post, read it and follow Bianca. She has good stuff to say.

Another PS: I’m grateful to have lost 4.9kg and crashed through a weight barrier I haven’t been under for way too long. This woman is my inspiration. Thanks Lucy. You should read her blog too. In a “to-be” kind of way of course.

Image via weheartit

Weekend grateful - breakfast solitude

Image by tokyoboy/FreeDigitalPhoto.net

A cafe with just enough hum to be company but not so much to intrude into my peace.
The loveliest soy latte I have had in a while.
A plate filled with sourdough toast, peaches and fresh ricotta, all drizzled in maple syrup.
The newspaper.
A book.
A little bit of solitude.
Just for an hour.
Bliss.
Grateful.
And grateful to Maxabella for this weekly opportunity to reflect on gratitude.

Weekend grateful - flotation devices

Image gratitude

My last post wasn't a happy one. I am not in the greatest of places. But I know in my heart it will all get better in time. In the meantime I am grateful for everyone who has been helping to keep me afloat. The comment love was wonderful to receive and has buoyed me through the last day or so. Today has been a more peaceful day, in my heart and head, and that is in no small part due to the "floaties" everyone gave me here.

Thank you. I am ever so grateful.

Weekend grateful

This weekend I'm grateful for...


An Hour of Pampering - I had a pedicure this afternoon. It was blissful and just what I needed after a hectic week. The lovely Vietnamese women in the shop where I go, giggled and chatted to each other in their mother tongue. It sounded like music and it felt ok to close my eyes fleetingly.


Heartfelt - This amazing organisation is going from strength to strength. Tonight they had a segment on a national news program. This week they will open a very special exhibition in Melbourne. They have given their wonderful gift to at least two people I know. I am so grateful that there is an organisation that does such extraordinary work.


Home - As I prepare to go to Sydney for the Aussie Bloggers Conference, it feels good to be home this weekend. To puddle around, to wander down the road to the farmer's market, to catch up on washing, to play in the backyard. Home. Grateful for it. Lucky to have it.


Happy 100 Gratefuls Maxabella xx

Image from We Heart It

Weekend grateful - cricket team

This weekend I am grateful, ever so grateful for my life and my loves.

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Yesterday I went to the funeral of a 22 year old young man who took his own life. I taught him at kindergarten eighteen years ago. I can still picture his cheeky little 4 year old face. So great was his anguish and mental health distress in recent months and years that he just couldn't stay. One can't help but be struck by the great irony of a funeral with almost 1000 people there who loved and admired this young man, yet he couldn't find a way to stay. The images that will remain with me from the saddest of afternoons...a family torn apart but managing a group embrace that will keep them together to weather this awful storm and rows and rows of twenty something young men, weeping and sobbing as they farewelled their mate. Utter tragedy. Such a fragile existence we all live.

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So, I'm grateful this weekend, for my life and my three great loves, The Captain, The Batsman and The Bowler. My little cricket team.

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PS: This is the first time I have joined in the Weekend grateful from Maxabella - I'm grateful for that too.