An anonymous guest post: my friend has a new boyfriend

Tonight, I have an anonymous guest post for you. The post comes from a fellow blogger, who, for reasons which will become obvious as you read it, was unwilling to post this on her own blog. In my view, moral dilemmas make for great blogging so read away and leave some words of wisdom for Anonymous as she tackles this issue.

My friend has a new boyfriend.

I should be happy for her, I should be keen to have them over and to check him out.

But I am not. I am not happy for her, I don't want to meet him.

The relationship started 12 months ago, he is married, with two primary aged children. At the beginning he told her he would never leave his wife and family, he would never hurt them. His marriage was actually pretty great and he didn't want his children to suffer the consequences from a broken marriage.

I suggested she end it. I thought she had, but clearly she just hid it from me instead, knowing I didn't approve.

A few weeks ago he set himself up with a new apartment, changed jobs and then went home and told his wife he didn't love her anymore. He left. Into the arms of my friend, close to 20 years younger than he and his wife.

Imagine.

Apparently the wife is not taking it very well, and being "really difficult".

So here is my dilemma.

Relationships come and go, marriages break up, people fall in love.

Am I being childish? Should I at least meet him, without the voice in my head screaming, "you are a grubby, shit of a husband who treated your wife like crap and left her for the first piece of tight available arse you could get."

Should I be happy for my friend and not judge her as a 'home-wrecker'?

Is it right to be annoyed on behalf of a woman I have never met and don't know?

Am I being all moral high ground-ish? Or, am I right to think that my friend is not displaying traits I want in a friend, she isn't really gaining any respect from anyone and why should I pretend to like this new man, who I think is pretty scummy?


When you lose respect for a friend, can you maintain the friendship?

Grateful, happy 2nd birthday Segovia and you get to do the giving

It's two years ago today that I began to write this blog.

Happy bloggy birthday to me. Happy second birthday Segovia, my little corner of the internet where I began to write for me again, to put into words what moves and inspires me and to capture moments in the lives of our boys and the experience of being their mum. Segovia began slowly and intermittently and it has taken time to get into a blogging groove. Now, I couldn't imagine life without this little space, without my other blog, The I Love You Song where I tell the Batsman's autism story and without the amazingly gorgeous people I have connected with through blogging.
Thank you for being here. I love it.

I love it too, that people mark blogging milestones and birthdays. One year, ten years, one hundred posts or a thousand, it is a wonderful thing to mark the achievement, the words put down, the self expression, the connections - all of it. Lots of people having blog birthdays manage to arrange fabulous giveaways and the like to celebrate. I have not been anywhere near organised enough to achieve that however I want to turn the idea completely on it's head.

It's Segovia's birthday and you get to do the giving. Stay with me and I will get to the point.

I have written before of how grateful I am for this place. The Learning for Life Autism Centre provide the Batsman's home based early intervention program and have done so day in day out for almost  eighteen months. The program and therapy team have made an extraordinary difference in all aspects of the Batsman's development and Learning for Life deliver the program with compassion, expertise, grace and respect. I am just so very grateful for all they have done and continue to do to support our precious boy.

Each year in November, Learning for Life hold a huge fundraising ball to raise money. Early intervention programs of this magnitude and intensity cost big bucks and are beyond the financial reach of most families. In addition to their therapy programs, Learning for Life and their volunteers fundraise to subsidise the cost of programs for families who would otherwise be unable to provide this type of intervention for their child.

So here is where you come in.

As part of the Learning for Life Ball each year there is a live auction and a silent auction where an amazing array of donated goodies fall under the auctioneer's hammer. If you, or someone you know, is in a position to donate an item, goods or a service for the auction, then I would love to hear from you. So far, I have gathered donated items as diverse as a professional architecture service package worth $3000, a grove of semi-mature trees ready to plant, cases of wine, a hamper of deli goods and gift cards from big department stores. The only real provisos are that the item or service would need to be redeemable in Melbourne, Australia and be something that you can imagine a crowd of some 350 enthusiastic ball-goers would be willing to bid for. Think big, think small - it could be anything!

If you are able to donate an auction item and help a child with autism receive a program just like the one that is helping the Batsman be all he can be, leave me a comment below with details and I will email you.

Thanks so much for reading this and helping me celebrate Segovia's bloggy birthday.

Have an amazing weekend.